Before Bed: A Little Rant

It’s 1am in the morning and I can’t sleep. So I decided, why not just write a blog post?

It’s been awhile since my last post, in fact I believe it was last year since my last post, and for a good reason.

Actually, not really for a good reason. I’ve been getting off social media quite a lot and I suppose WordPress isn’t exactly your common social media but, you get my point.

Not much has happened, don’t get me wrong, Intern has been awesome. But besides that, there’s really nothing much to update at all. Yes, I’m still playing some instruments and yes, I’ve been working on the project (in fact I’m really proud of how far I have come) and languages but I haven’t been able to get this other itch off the back of my head.

What’s been bugging me the most is none other than, my future.

I’m not that young anymore, in fact, I’m old af – and I still haven’t gotten a clue on what or how I want my life to be like, if that doesn’t worry me, I wonder what would. And I know that completing my education and finishing school with good grades is the most important thing for me to be as of now, but I can’t help but think about a year from now.

Honestly, a year from now, I would be utmost elated that I have graduated. But I would have nothing to do as well and that worries me a lot. Perhaps I could go get another useless certificate that has nothing with what the industry needs. Yeah, I could do that. And let my parents pay for my education for another couple years.

Or I could also get a job, yeah I should do that..

What would you do one year from now?

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Chill with your Cousin

The stars tonight shine brightly.
A little too brightly.

Didn’t snap a photograph like I’m supposed to but it was a beautiful view.

We should all look up sometime and be glad that we are still breathing. Be grateful for the things we have all taken for granted  last year. New year resolution isn’t it?

Breathe, take a deep breathe and march on.

Take a much needed jog sometimes, quit eating all the fried food, grab your skateboard and head out; explore your neighborhood and strum a few times on that old guitar. Chill with your cousin (or not) and sometimes just look up at the sky above you and cherish the bright stars above you. These million years of shattered stones are finally able to shine for our eyes. How delighted we should be for them to be shining for us, and for our eyes only.

Pretending

We all try to be someone we are not.

The music we listen to, the clothes we wear, the actions we make; mere representation of whatever we are not.

It’s almost as if being someone else we are not, is the most desirable thing ever. Even if it’s for the worse. It’s almost saying that if we act the way we are, we are less interesting, less outstanding and less.. welcomed? In fact, most of the things we do and say, it’s always for a certain audience. We always cater for the listener.

Is it all we think about is how people perceive us of? If that’s the case, do we live for others or ourselves? If no one could pin their thoughts as a representation of who we are, would we be acting differently? Most importantly, if no one’s perception could bother you.. What would you be doing now?

And of course, how realistic is it to say that our words or actions could be a stab in the back. The world is so big; anything can be held against you. Is that the reason we are so utmost compromising? Even if the world around us changes, we would never be the first one to make the first move. Is it a disadvantage to be the one to take the arrow? Is this stupidity or an act of brilliance? No one knows for sure. At this point of time, when our first steps are innocuous and concerning, people take reference to who we are, and what we’ve done. It goes back to why we act the way we do — that society only accepts one type of character; less than perfect and we can vanish. It seems that pretending is the only solution.

But is pretending truly a bad thing? How could this be a bad thing, right? I mean living by the rules you are almost never in trouble. You can live comfortably and be a good contributor to the society. I mean, what’s wrong? Think about all the times you can hide a mist the crowd and never raise your head, isn’t that the way to live?

The truth is, you lose it all when you lose your soul. The more scared you are, the more weak you become and the more scared you become. If you don’t take risks, you fail life by default.

One of my favorite quote is “Moderation is Key” and for a good reason. Moderation really is key. And I know many who are intolerable to this cliche quote, believe me I am too, but it seems to be the answer to most question marks. Practicing individualism and playing as a demure societal member should be in equal parts; should any part decrement in any way, the other cease to exist.

 

P.S This post is a joke.